the hard part about being creative is that

our understanding of it is limited by design. Our creativity is the ultimate proof that each of us is made in the Image of the God of Infinite Names. And yet our limited understanding is proof of God’s Sense of Humor.

When Shadow first took possession and began to paint this piece, I saw her as one thing—drowning. Even though she was able to breathe her incantation into our ears, all I felt was that sensation of asphyxiation—of choking darkness closing in.

I almost burned her, believe it or not, took her to the Place of Orange Execution and transformed her into ash. Maybe to become part of another piece. Maybe not. In 2019, I felt the world—particularly my part of it—held enough hopelessness. And breathlessness. We had forgotten our wings. And seeing what 2020 would bring…

All we want in 2020 is to be able to breathe.

One of the things we don’t understand as creatives is Time. Time flows, with or without us. But when we create, we become one with the Flow. And we see it isn’t really flow at all. But we fail to remember. It’s because we are not really the ones creating but mere instruments of the act. And the truth is Time does not flow (or even move at all, really) along a straight line. Pasts, presents, futures—it’s all simultaneous. But because our bodies are finite, our minds designed to perceive the nutshell that is our corner of the Universe, we experience but one moment at a time.

In the moment, I was not ready to understand the meaning of this piece. To keep me from destroying it, Shadow hid it from me in the clutter of the Chamber of If, the room where we create most of our art.

It recently surfaced, over a year later.

And finally. Finally, I could see.

I was looking at her, thinking of how I might transform her into something else when Flame took hold and dragged me into the Dreaming. And it was there I could see the light in the shadow—the beating heart beneath the depths. And that was when I understood: There is indeed one part of us that experiences this as drowning—the Ego. But the part of us that is truly us—the True Self—experiences this as going within, as diving into the depths.

As oneness.

As renewal.

On and above the surface, a storm rages, dear ones. It frightens us, makes us want to flee to higher ground. But I urge you to do the opposite instead. Sit in the discomfort. Be brave, and ask yourself…

What do you need?

What do you love?

In your heart of hearts—in the depths of your depths—

Who are you? What if…?

Dive within, dive deeper.

Beneath the surface, deeper than fear, in the place where your faith lives, beyond the places of execution, in the depths of your depths of your depths…

There awaits something so much more.

You are so much more. You are beautiful. You are wise. You are good. You are everlasting. But most of all, you are loved, dear one.

You are loved.

So remember your wings. The water is no match.

Remember your wings. Take flight.